Not Quite Betty Crocker

I’ve never understood that line, by the way. Like I’m just supposed to stop worrying and then I’ll be happy? How happy will I be when I’m constantly blind-sided by things I didn’t anticipate? Or is it that first I have to stop worrying and then start being happy – two different actions? But then, what’s the action that goes with being happy? Am I supposed to fake being happy?

“Anger requires action or distraction.” That one line heard on a radio show has blown my mind for weeks. Ever since, I’ve noticed how action-oriented I am.

“Calm down.”

“Relax.”

“Have fun.”

“Don’t worry.”

“Stop freaking out.”

I can’t stand to hear any of those lines, because I don’t know what they are telling me to DO. I know what not to do (yell, freak out, worry), but not what to do. WHAT DO I DO?

Smokers often fail at quitting because they don’t take into account the behavioral aspect of smoking. Sure, you’re addicted to nicotine, but you also take “smoke breaks” and step away from your work way more often than non-smokers. When you’re stressed or tired or upset, finding a cigarette and lighter, walking outside, moving the thing into your mouth over and over – these things are actions, and they help reduce stress. If you want to quit smoking, in addition to dealing with the chemical issues, you have to replace the behavioral ones.

Think about it: meditation, exercise, yoga. Actions to focus your frustrated energy on something. Now I know why people pray in hospital prayer rooms. It’s a place to go to DO something when nothing can be done but wait.

Put another way, one of the quick-and-easy ways to train your dogs not to do something is to train them to do something else. Don’t want them to bum-rush the door in barking madness every time the doorbell rings? Train them to run to a room in barking madness instead. Voila! (Then you train them not to bark by training them to eat the treat in your hand… get it? Can’t bark while munching, since their table manners are better than mine.)

Blogging the Bright Side has given me something to do in place of reveling in my angst. I’m paying attention to my life in a positive way. I still worry, and I still panic, and I’m still going to freak out.

But now I have something to DO when I’m trying not to do that. I find something to enjoy somewhere in my world. In thinking about how to blog about the bright side, I've found myself firmly standing in it.

Being happy is an active pursuit of happiness, but it’s so easy. You just have to move your eyes. If that’s too much, close them.

That’s my kind of exercise plan.