Not Quite Betty Crocker

(Gratuitous puppy picture.  I realize he doesn’t look at all like he’s having an epiphany.)

I didn’t get it before, this thing Dave Ramsey always says about how getting in control of your money “changes your family tree.”   My credit card debt stayed under a thousand dollars, I didn’t go crazy when I bought my truck, and I have a great salary.  How could paying off a relatively small amount of debt CHANGE MY FAMILY TREE?

I assumed it was hyperbole.

But after three months of doing this whole money thing differently, after six paychecks on this debt snowball, after what ended up being slight behavioral changes (but admittedly huge philosophical changes), I get it.

We didn’t have a lot of money growing up. We weren’t poor (I don’t think), but we didn’t have money to spare.  My parents busted their butts to make sure we had what we needed and quite a bit extra, but as the oldest of my siblings I saw the worry and the stress.  I grew up knowing I’d find a stable, practical job and not have to worry about money.

But I mistakenly thought that “worrying” and “thinking” were the same. 

I spent most of my adulthood trying not to think about money at all, not knowing how else to avoid worrying.  But denial is not a happy place and much like learning that lies just aren’t worth the overhead, avoiding money isn’t worth the theoretical relief. 

Relief is knowing where I’m going to spend money and why.  Not worrying is having a plan that means my husband and I will be out of debt repayment mode and on to saving for emergencies mode far sooner than we’d imagined. And after that?  Peace.

I feel so silly being all evangelistic about this, but I honestly didn’t get the “financial peace*” concept until about an hour ago when I sucked it up, took a deep breath, and made my little spreadsheet look ahead. Not a lot, just a little.  And holy hell we might be able to hit our next target far sooner than I’d ever have imagined.

It works!  The snowball is getting bigger!  It freaking works!

I’m as surprised as anybody, frankly, and slightly embarrassed at the amount of money we used to blow. But hey, you can’t grow up if you don’t learn how to move on, so it’s onward and upward from here.  And as of this moment, my kids’ potential for knowing how to handle money – practically, simply, and without worry – has skyrocketed.

And we have changed our family tree.  Holy hell.

(Gratuitous kitty picture)

Tonight my husband and I will celebrate, something we’ve been fortunate and aware enough to do quite often lately. The current plan is to treat ourselves to the best steak ever (swear) at Ye Olde Steakhouse (rare prime rib thrown on the grill just long enough to get a few crispy grill marks with woodshed potatoes and a freaking beer), but if I know us, we’ll end up at home eating seven dollar lobsters and french fries with a glass of wine from the spigot. 

I don’t really care. For the first time in our relationship, we’re talking productively and successfully – and enjoying it, too -- and about money, of all things, and it’s fantastic. This was one of the more difficult personal changes I’ve ever made, but also one of the quickest to pay off.  And it’s measurable.  I don’t think either of us could have done it alone, making this success that much sweeter.

(Gratuitous husband-on-honeymoon picture)

Okay, enough evangelizing.  Have a happy Friday, and a fabulous weekend!

*”Financial Peace” was Dave Ramsey’s first book; “Financial Peace University” is his multi-week educational program; and Dave’s radio show is broadcast from his offices at “Financial Peace Plaza.”

Updated: you can download a clean copy of my spreadsheet here.