Christmas has always been a big deal to my family. On my mom’s side, my extended family gets together twice: once the week before Christmas to make tamales and again for the big shindig on Christmas Eve. On my dad’s side, Christmas Day is the big day, with lots of eating and visiting and hanging out.
I’ve missed Christmas with my family only one other time, the first year I was married the first time. I’ll be missing it again this year after taking Joey with me for the past to years.
It seemed fair.
Except that his family has less solid traditions. I’ve been quizzing him for weeks, teasing little snippets of stories out of him as I try to figure out what Christmas will be like this year, and I’m fairly sure there’s a lot less family time and a lot more non-traditional time.
So I’m on a mission to create some traditions for our new little family so that I don’t miss my family (of origin) so much. Coming from such a large family with such ingrained plans, this is both scary and exciting. Realistically, we won’t always be back home with my family for the holidays, and I want us to have traditions with our family here, too.
What if our Christmas Eve is a total dud while everyone is partying back home? What if we have just another day? I feel like this is an opportunity, but I need your help.
Here’s what we have so far:
Christmas Eve: new pajamas (Christmas pj’s, of course) and a fire and… something. I suggested putting up the tree, but he wants it up earlier than that. Given how much else we have going on, my way might prevail. The pj’s are a tradition I want to continue when we have kids and is extra special because it’s a mobile tradition: we can put on new Xmas pj’s wherever in the country we are. Maybe we can exchange gifts, he and I and my brother (who will be visiting for Christmas, yay!)… but what else? I’m leaning toward doing all the decorating that night, but then we won’t be much in the holiday spirit ahead of time, ya know?
Christmas Day: his family comes over, we start with a simple brunch in the late morning, watch National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation while we digest and finish dinner, then eat again in the early afternoon. Should we play games? Sing songs? (just kidding about the songs) Bake cookies? His peeps don’t tend to hang out for long and I’m trying to keep us together for at least a little while. I want us all to be comfortable hanging out, but I’m not generally good at setting that kind of a stage.
What do you do for Christmas? Got any traditions we can steal (ahem, borrow) from you? Thoughts on how to make sure everyone doesn’t stand around chatting awkwardly?
15 comments:
This is kind of random, and sometimes better for other times of the year, but when I was young we would go on "trash walks" every holiday.. everyone gets a plastic bag, and we walk around the neighborhood picking up trash.. the motivation when we were kids was that we'd walk to the nearby 7-11 and everyone would get a slurpee :)
Games are fun, have you ever played Apples to Apples? Taboo? Catchphrase? I highly recommend all. If you need to fill a big block of time there's always Clue or Monopoly...
My dad's family does a chocolate chip cookie contest. He and his brothers each make regular choc chip cookies and other family members judge them. We have an engraved plaque with all the winners, so its a big deal. But it gives us something to do.
All my life, my christmas traditions have changed. When I was entering my teen years my parents divorced, so I can totally relate. Now that I'm a "grown up," I am trying to infuse all of the things I liked from the different Christmas's I have experienced. Now I have been in a committed relationship with my boyfriend for 3 years and we try to incorporate his family traditions with mine as we spend Christmas with his family and New Years with mine.
So here are some of my favorites!
-no real meal just lots of appetizers and all the ones you like for christmas eve
-I watch White Christmas with the whole family
-As a child we use to go and go and visit all of our friends in the neighbourhood and bring some christmas cookies with us for them! (christmas Eve)
-listening to the radio to find out how far santa was(christmas Eve)
-doing a murder mystery game
-go caroling
-I've always wanted to do a Christmas Eve open house...where you invite everyone over for a drink and some christmas treats
-go out and play in the snow if there is any or go ice skating at a local rink that is open
-volunteer at a local soup kitchen
My family's holiday traditions:
Stockings first, then a big Christmas breakfast (in my family (of origin) we always have a sausage and egg breakfast casserole, which is yummy and which bakes while we open stockings).
Then we sort out the presents under the tree, and open.
Then there is a little time off - when we were kids, this is when we would play with our toys, for a while our family always did a puzzle at Christmas (good because folks came come to it whenever they want and work on it as much or as little as they want - this is a tradition that I hope to revive once we host Christmas). Also time for cooking Christmas dinner, taking naps, watching football.
Then finally Christmas dinner. Some years we play board games after, sometimes just socialize, some years my brother and I go to a movie.
One of my favorite days of the year. I suggest that you pick one thing that is really *Christmas* to you (for me, the year I was an exchange student it was stockings, now I think it would be the breakfast casserole) and be sure to do that as part of your new tradition. That way you can feel close to the family you aren't spending time with on this special day.
on christmas eve we always went to the candlelight service at church, which started at 10 pm. when we got home, around 11:30, we got to stay up late and open one present. that was our favorite tradition as kids - it's sooo exciting to get to stay up and open a present and sit around with the tree lit.
maybe decorate a gingerbread house or cookies or something else on christmas eve? then the house can be decorated early, but you can still decorate something christmas-y.
apples to apples is a great group game, i agree.
my in laws like to take us all to go see a movie on new year's day... perhaps you can do that on christmas day? then come back to have dinner?
This is my first Christmas with my husband also and we're spending it with his family. I'm a little concerned that I'm going to be Debbie Downer thinking about how Christmas "should" be. My plan involves playing Catch Phrase and Apples to Apples (great game!), making them do the dishes after I make a big meal, church, and football.
One of my friends does something cool though--they have a present decorating contest. They give some nominal gift (like chapstick) and then compete to see who can wrap it the most creatively. They've done things like the chapstick nestled in a manger or an elaborate Trojan Horse. Apparently, it takes all day to decide who wins!
My family's traditions:
Christmas Eve-
Go to 5:00 Christmas Eve mass
Go to my grandma & grandpa's for appetizers, a few gifts from them and brandy slushies (I've only been able to partake in the slushies for the last few years)
Come home to hold a Christmas Eve party with family and friends. Lots of appetizers, cookies, and wine are served!
Open our Christmas PJs and go to bed. Or since I was the oldest child, wrap the remaining gifts and help my mom put them under the tree.
Christmas Day-
Stockings first, then we pass out the gifts and open!
A few hour break to play with gifts, take a nap, and get ready.
My mom's family (grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins) come over for Italian turkey sandwiches and gifts we exchange.
After another break to cook, my immediate family has a fancy Christmas dinner (prime rib, cornish hens, etc.) and after we play Apples to Apples.
Our Christmas is busy, but I love it. So much time with family and friends!
A Christmas Day tradition at my in-laws is to hold "Cat Olympics." (bear with me here!) They have always had 2 or 3 cats, and each year, in the days leading up to Christmas, they come up with categories for the cats to compete in. Usually there are 15-20 categories, from Best Tail, to Best Host/ess, to Most Vocal. There are always a few "gimmie" categories (Most Orange, for example) so you know going into it that every cat will win at least one category.
Then, on Christmas day, the family gathers and votes on the various categories. There is usually some discussion, and an attempt to sway other family members your way, but ultimately, each person gets to vote as they see fit. After all the categories are judged, the cat with the most number of category victories is crowned "Best All Around."
I don't know if your husband's family would find Cat (or Pet, include the dogs, too!) Olympics fun or weird, but I've grown to love them when we visit my in-laws!
We also love games, puzzles, lots of snacks, and Christmas movies!
This post made me so happy I cried. I'm Jewish and have always hated the holidays. My parents worked on Christmas (they're both in the medical field and got paid extra for working) while I was bored by myself. Chanukkah isn't a big holiday, so I really didn't look forward to this time of year.
Since I got married (to a non-Jew) I have had to get used to the idea of Christmas, even though I am naturally pretty bitter about it. I think creating a lot of traditions would make it more fun for me and make it more about our family instead of the corporate-ness of it all.
I love all of these traditions everyone has shared. You've actually succeeded in getting me excited about future Chrismukkahs!
I am loving reading everyone else's traditions!! I've always wanted to have specific holiday traditions, but when you come from a family like mine, it's still surprising when you can actually get through a meal together (never mind all the fun before or afterward).
My fiance's family has a tradition that is Christmas-related. A couple weeks before Christmas, all the women get together for Craft Day and make crafts. I don't take well to this one - my first Craft Day, I almost cut my finger off while trying to make a wreath. Heh!
My family doesn't really have any totally solid Christmas traditions-- I'm the youngest of a large family and my family changed a lot over the years as new partners/spouses children etc. came home or didn't come home. This might sound sad, but it actually makes me really flexible when it comes to how my holidays are spent. Christmas was important whether there were only 3 of us together on christmas morning or 22 of us. We always went to mass-- but based on things like kids waiting for Santa and babies' schedules, or brothers' juggling their girlfriends and my parents' holiday-- the time we went was always in flux. I love midnight mass however. We're not huge into gifts-- but some years when there was a Sanata believer in the house-- christmas could be so magical, once Santa tracked huge *snowy* (cornstarch) footprints up from the fireplace to the total awe of some little ones. Many years have ended in watched the Christmas Story on TBS on repeat-- and plenty have included trivial pursuit and Bing Crosby's Christmas on vinal. Sometimes friends who don't celebrate christmas would stop by for some drinks and prime rib. I guess what I'm saying is--if it's special to you-- it will be, no matter where you are, just like the Grinch realized-- you can't really steal Christmas from the woo's.
We watch the Fridge Day of that old Henson show "Dinosaurs". It's totally the best thing ever, and our only real family tradition. Then, usually on Christmas day, we do gifts in the morning and cook in the afternoon for big Christmas dinner at my Grandma's.
I think it's good to have a couple traditions, but not overload on them, because otherwise your kids will have a total complex when they get married and be completely unable to go anywhere else for Christmas that does anything differently.
last year, our first married christmas, jay and i did the following:
christmas eve we spent with nolan at jay's grandma's house. dinner and presents, fairly laid back.
christmas day we opened presents from each other and had cinnamon rolls and coffee. around noon we drove to visit my family where we had a huge meal and a gift exchange. around 5 or 6 we drove home, let the dogs out and went to jay's mom's where we ate pizza and watched the muppet's christmas carol.
it was low key and low stress.
I have loved reading these also! I am huge on Christmas traditions (way more about the time and magic than the gifts) and am also very nervous for my first Christmas away from family.
We also do pajamas, and we open them after the candlelight service on Christmas Eve. After this we hit up the local gas station and buy coffee and hot cocoa, then put on a CD of Christmas music and drive around looking at Christmas lights. We then head home and sleep, get up and do stockings. We always eat orange rolls and bacon, then open presents. After this we spend time checking out the gifts, making lunch, and hanging out. We get a new board game every year and spend time playing that the rest of the day, just eating and spending time.
My family has a few traditions that we have kept and developed over the years. My dad was military and we were never around more than just the 4 of us. Well except for 2 times before I turned 18.
Our traditions were that we opened only one gift on christmas eve, (always the Christmas pjs) set out the bread to dry for the stuffing, made lots of munchie foods and turned all the lights off except for the Christmas lights and watched the 1930's black and white scrooge and the black and white version of it's a wonderful life. These to this day are still some of my favorite memories with my family.
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