Not Quite Betty Crocker

We still haven’t nailed the new job details.  As of now, I’m doing it in acting capacity, the job was posted and I applied, and 10 days from now they can make me a verbal offer.

We’re in agreement on the team (mostly), the goals (mostly), and the start date (um, a month ago).  I know they need someone in that role ASAP (you know, because I’m doing it and holy hell it’s a doozy of a situation), that I’m unusually qualified for this type of role, and that I make quite a bit less than my former peers, much less my current peers.

And yet.

I’m chickening out of negotiating.  Or rather, delaying the inevitable.  For the third time my new boss asked what I wanted and for the third time I rather elegantly put him off… but I suspect that’s not going to last much longer.

I think it’s a chick thing to be spending my time convincing myself my skills aren’t really that unique or necessary or important rather than convincing myself (and my company) of my worth.  I mean, really, it’s ridiculous.  I just spent the week at a client site in a kamikaze kind of a situation and handled it rather brilliantly, if I do say so myself.  I got kudos from one of our execs and appreciation from a general manager, and yet, here I am dwelling on the fact that, unlike my peers, I’m not an engineer.

Hello, crazy woman: you are perfect for this job because of the things you do that are unique for an engineering organization. 

Unlike 95% of my group (engineers, remember), I like customers.  In fact, I like unhappy customers most.  I am willing to travel on two days’ notice, have a background in services and development, and know enough about hospitals to talk my way through almost any ugly situation.  And I’m willing to take this job without a full team behind me, unlike most normal people who would prefer to be able to direct the work of the people doing the work.  Not me.  I’m good with a small team of a couple of people.

Somehow, though, that doesn’t feel as relevant as having once been an actual coder.  *sigh*

What now, then?  A script.  I’ve read too many studies indicating that women make less money because they just don’t negotiate (not “negotiate better,” “negotiate at all) to allow this chance to pass, but I’ll continue to chicken out.  So I’m going to write out a script I can follow when the new boss asks me, again, what kind of salary I’m looking for.  I’ll include things I can say for any number of his responses.

Want to help?  Here’s what I have so far:

Him: blah, blah, blah, salary, blah, blah, same page, blah, blah, might not get exactly but close, blah, blah, what are you looking for?

Option 1

Me: Would you mind telling me what range you have in mind?

Him: Yes, sure, we’re thinking xxx to xxx. {within my goals}

Me: That sounds like a fine starting point.  I think we should be able to come to an agreement once I have an offer in writing.

~~~

Him: Yes, sure, we’re thinking xxx to xxx. {not within my goals}

Me: Well, that’s a bit lower than I was expecting, frankly, given the amount of responsibility and impact this role will carry.  Given the travel requirements and visibility, I’d expect more like xxx.

Then what?

Option 2

Me: Well, given the amount of responsibility and impact we’ve discussed, I think xxx,xxx sounds fair.  I can start right away and have an immediate impact on your work and those of the development teams. {Is that last sentence even necessary?}

Him: That sounds fair.  I’ll talk to HR.

~~

Him: That’s higher than we’d normally pay, and anything above a 10% increase requires the approval of the HR board.

Me: Okay, I understand.  When will that happen and is it retroactive?

~~

Am I supposed to be prepared to defend my position?  I assume yes.  I have reports from Payscale.com and Salary.com indicating what I’m asking for is slightly above median… but that’s a pretty significant jump from where I am.

I hate this stuff.  Something about talking about money gives me the heeby jeebies.  I’ll negotiate almost anything else – and enjoy it – but this I’m just not good at.

The problem, I think, is disappointment.  Dollar figures are so black and white, so clear who won and who lost.  I feel like I’ll spend a week convincing myself I’m worth xxx and then be disappointed when I settle for a lower offer, even though it’ll still be a raise… you know?

Anyone else struggle with salary negotiations?  How do you get through it?